May 27, 2017 • Dream: Holding Lynn We were together again last night, in a dream that was as vivid as any reality I’ve ever experienced. You were staying over at our house and all day, I was crushing on you. I would sneak a photo of you here and there when no one was watching. Occasionally we would lock eyes and exchange smiles… mine, flirtatious; yours, coy and genuine. When you bit your lip with one of them, I wanted to pull you into my arms right that moment and kiss you. Eventually, your sister… my wife… went upstairs to get ready for bed. You still wanted to watch tv so I stayed up with you. I wanted to soak in as much of you as I could. I miss you terribly and even if you moved in with us and spent every moment next to me, I still would never get enough of you. Being near you is an experience for me. My heart races. My emotions overflow. I long for your touch. And last night, I could wait no longer. You say on the floor to watch tv and patted the floor next to you, inviting me to sit at your side. Instead, I sat on the floor behind you and with a leg to either side of yours. I wrapped my arms around you and pulled your body next to mine; your back pressed against my chest; my legs followed yours; my hands slid slowly down the bare skin of your arms to find your hands and our fingers interlocked; my cheek was pressed to yours and I just soaked in the moment as your energy mixed with mine. I was both consumed and ready to explode. Our touch made us something new: a singular creature experienced inside two bodies. Mine longed to connect with yours. Yours trembled with the anticipation of my touch. I was briefly interrupted by a stray thought: what if she comes back down? How will she respond if she sees us together like this? I pushed the thought away. Your skin was soft. Your hair smelled amazing. I never wanted this moment to end. There was nothing outside of this moment. We became the the center of all reality. I turned my head to kiss your neck… your cheek. You shifted your body and brought your lips nearer to mine, offering your kiss to my lips. I leaned forward and our lips met. Electricity burned through my consciousness as we fell into the kiss, our lips parted and our tongues met and deeper we fell into the merging of our souls. My fingers found the buttons on your shirt and you sighed as they pushed the thin material aside and found the bare skin of your breast. As moved across your nipple, your body responded to mine, but doubt interrupted your thoughts as well, “should we be doing this?” you whispered? “Yes,” I breathed into your ear as I kissed your neck, “I’ve been in love with you, secretly, for so many years. Yes, we should be doing exactly this. We are meant to happen.” You pulled away to look me in the eye. A smile blossomed across your face and a tear escaped from the corner of your eye. Your hand pressed against my face and you just looked at me, fingers playfully caressing my beard. You bit your lip and moved in for another kiss and breathed, “I love you, too.” And our lips met again, and my eyes opened, and I lay there in bed committing our secret rendezvous to memory as I woke up. I was holding my body pillow tightly against my body. The pillow was still you. I could still feel the touch of our shared energy inside me. I long to tell you face to face, in this reality, exactly how I feel. Someday, I promise myself, I will tell you. And though you may not react in the same way you do in our alternate reality, I still want you to know. I deeply love you.
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