Sunday, May 24, 2015

03/20/2015 Chance Meeting (Cher)

March 20, 2015 - Chance Meeting
Greenwood, Indiana

Erin and I were shopping at Meijer. We were out just the two of us, the kids were all at home. We were in the greeting card area buying Wedding and Shower cards for her sister. I got a text from Cher asking if I happened to be shopping in Meijer just then. I told her that I was and she said she had thought she saw me just a second before. I looked around and didn't see her but knew that she would be looking for me. 

I was suddenly nervous. Partially because I was caught off guard and partially because I knew we were about to see each other again. Nothing had ever happened between us, but we had texted about hooking up in a hotel when I travelled this way from Phoenix when we lived out there. We talked about sex and poly and even exchanged a couple of naked photos of ourselves. We had talked aboout getting together for coffee a few times but it had never happened. Now she was here... and I was with Erin. Erin knows we worked together and knows that we had talked about hooking up for sex, but she had never met anyone I have been or seriously had made plans to be involved with before. So I wasn't sure what to expect. Part of me was hoping Cher had already left and was just texting on her way out.

We turned the corner and I saw her in the check out line. And emotions flooded me. I found myself drawn to her. I didn't even realize I had any emotional feelings for her... beyond maybe crush feelings... until that moment, but it was like seeing someone you've missed for years without realizing you had even missed them.

She saw me and smiled. I melted but managed to put one foot in front of the other and walked toward her. Erin was still looking at cards but I had told her about the text and that Cher was there also. 

To be clear, I am not a hugger. I don't even hug my mother without tremendous discomfort. My peers at work are huggers. And when they greet or say goodbye, they always hug each other... and me. And every time, I physically stiffen. I am uncomfortable with people in my personal space like that. It's odd because my Love Language is clearly Touch. Maybe that's why it's uncomfortable. Touching is a personal and intimate thing to me... but this was different. I did not even think. I walked up to Cher, smiled at her, and as natural as anything, I leaned in and nearly hugged her. I stopped before following through and I regret it, but where did that come from?

She is so not my type at all. But I find myself drawn to her. Physically... emotionally... It's entirely new ground for me. I am not trusting with my heart... but my instincts are ignoring me. She is one of the special few and she has done nothing to get to that place. I saw her standing there and suddenly, I wanted her in my circle.

We talked a little. Mostly about work. Catching up. She had noticed Erin before she saw me. It was time to go before I was ready and I wanted to hug her to say goodbye. I wanted to kiss her goodbye. I wanted to tell her to stay and not say goodbye at all. I'll have to think back on our history through the years. How the hell did she slip past my defenses so easily? I can't let people in easily even why Im trying to you. She's different. This is new. And I like it. A lot.

We said goodbye and she went through the checkout. I texted her before she even left the building about how nice it was to see her and I asked her to coffee. I need to know more about her and these feelings I have for her all of the sudden.

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