My wife's sister stopped by on her way home from work to pick up one of the girls to stay the night and help decorate her tree. I answered the door when she rang the bell and she commented on the crappy weather we are having. It was raining all day. I smiled at her but like an idiot I stood there not able to say anything to her. I am so worried she sees right through me and knows how I feel about her and that thought is as unsettling as it exhilarating. I felt bad because I had recently mowed the lawn one last time over this past weekend when the temperature spiked up a bit and I hadn't cleared the grass clippings from our front walk. She was trying to get all the wet clippings off her shoes by rubbing them on the mat. I just wanted to sink down on my knees and brush them clean for her. With my hands. Or my mouth. Or my cock. Whatever. But I stood there watching her. Still not saying a word.
I don't understand it at all. Before we moved to Arizona... Before she met her fiancé... she was like one of my best friends. Which would make her one of two, the other being my wife. We talked about anything and everything. Well mostly she talked and I listened or offered advice. Usually that advice was on dating or sex. She told me when she gave her first blowjob, and when she was ready to have sex with guys she was dating. Now... I'm like a kid with a schoolboy crush and I just stand there stupidly staring at her... not sure what to say.
I love being near her and I hate being near her. I have such a crush on her. I'm probably in love with her. My wife knows and so that probably adds to my awkwardness. She jokes all the time that I married the wrong sister. Except she's not joking at all when she says it.
It's hard to be so near her and not be able to talk to her. Or touch her. Or tell her how I feel about her. But it's so wonderful being near her. And hearing her voice. And catching her eye.
Unrequited love is a bitch.