THIRTIES: LET IT GO
06-14-2014 Christina Dream
#2014 #Thirties #Alabama
#Coworker #Crush #Dream #Hotel #Love #Polyamory #RoadTrip #Vacation
Written 6/14/2014 Hampton Inn Hope Hull, Alabama #324
I had a dream last night about Christina. There are only snippets that I remember now that I've woken up. But we were a couple, in secret, and in love. We kissed. We held hands. I helped her with some of her work that she was struggling with and she just couldn't get enough of me. She looked up to me. Things briefly turned sexual right before I woke up. We were naked in her bed. Making out. Hands all over each other's bodies. And I worked my way down her back with kisses until I was in a position to lick her anus. Just after I started to, which we both were enjoying, I woke up... cuddling a pillow and missing her.
I got to see her this past week in Phoenix. We spoke for several minutes after her development interview. And she went around the room hugging everyone. She used to hug me when we were peers and I miss that. Now it is an awkward professionalism. Either she likes me as much as I like her and that's why there is a little awkward tension... or she simply knows how I feel about her and isn't sure what to do with that. She seems to love talking to me and lingers when it's time to say goodbye in every single situation. So I tend to believe it is the former. When we shook hands to say goodbye, this time, I held her eye contact and smiled. I reached out for her hand. And I held on for the briefest of seconds longer and let her withdraw, letting her fingers slide out from within mine as she slowly did so. Her hand was soft. And her touch was electric. And as much as I love our new home... as much as I am happy with the decision to move back to Indiana... she is a reason I miss being there. But we work together. And while I believe she does have feelings for me also, I know that is a line she would never let herself cross. She has values and integrity and is professional. She's a good person and a good girl in every sense of the word... which strangely, ironically, is much of what attracts me to her. She reminds me so much of Erin. So is it Christina I've feelings for? Or do I just love the Erin I see in her? I believe the answer is probably both, though mostly weighted on the latter. At the end of the day, Erin is the woman to whom all others compare for me. Crushes are crushes and even love is only love. With her, there is a connection deeper than words. She's part of me. And no one can hold a candle to that.