Erin and I didn't finish our cheesecake the other night, so we had a second dessert date last night. We got the kids to bed at a relatively decent hour and I made us some more mint English Breakfast tea and we cuddle up on the couch.
We watched Clash of the Titans (the newer release - 2010 I think). Erin has never seen either and this was my first time watching this one. There were some things I liked better about the story line of the newer version, but it still didn't sit all that well with me. They changed a lot of it and I don't really like that. To Erin's point, I just need to see it as its own story and not a remake of the original, though it was. I actually liked the 1981 version better.
We are enjoying our time together and have both suddenly become very interested in Greek mythology. It may give us something new to do together - learning about it. We both enjoy history, but it is a real passion of Erin's.
Other than a nice kiss goodnight before she went upstairs and me into my room, there was nothing physical other than cuddling on the couch. Just two friends on a date, who happened to have been married fifteen years. So even though our little self induced sex drought continues, I am having a lot of fun with this. I miss her terribly, I am a touchy feely person and sex has always been the best way for me to feel the most connection with her. I think in this process, I am actually learning to connect with her in a non-physical way as a primary and not a secondary means of connection. Wow - that makes me sound like I've been a real ass for all these years. Maybe I have. But I don't think so... at least not for this reason. It's just the way I was wired to feel love, connection, and security. And now she is teaching me a new way to experience each of them.
I see Erin in a whole different light now. Not that I didn't respect her before - and not that I didn't see her as my equal (I actually have always put her above me) - but I just have a new kind of respect for her. I didn't see myself enjoying this. I didn't think I'd be able to handle living apart from her, albeit in the same house. But she pushed through and it is working. She's very smart. And I've never felt more like she loved me and knew me - better as it turns out than I knew myself.