Tuesday, January 1, 2013

01/01/2013 Finally Home (Erin)

January 1, 2013 • Posted from home

It's been a tough couple of weeks. We got news in mid-December that Erin's aunt (Jacque) had suddenly died. She is the nurse aunt that I have written about before on the blog (on one of the panty play posts). It hit me very hard. So much that I cried at some point every day for five days straight with the hardest being the first night. Erin was crying and I was holding her and trying to be the strong husband and I broke down into heavy sobs. Partly, it was the loss of a family member and partly because the suddenness made me realize that I could lose Erin just like that. Her aunt after all, was only 43. She was fighting cancer... And winning. And died anyway in less than 48 hours from a simple infection because someone probably didn't wash their hands.

Erin and I had been fighting the night before when the news came in. I was sleeping on the bed in my office downstairs. It was just a wake up call that life is too short for arguing and fighting and who is right and who is wrong.

After completing the I possible task of packing for nine people, getting the brakes looked at on the van, running to the store to try and find winter coats at the last minute, and loading to van - all in the space of a day, we eventually made it through the long three day drive across the country.

It was hard seeing Jacque lying in the casket. She was always nice to me. Accepting even when others in Erin's family might not have been. She was a go with the flow kind of person. Our kids played together every week before we moved. She wasn't my aunt, except by marriage, but I can say that I loved her as though she were and I was closer to her than any of my aunts by a large margin. It still does not seem real.

We stayed through Christmas, only to get two more troubling things handed to us. Half of us woke up sick on Christmas morning. It's made its rounds through all of us and is lingering. Today is the eighth day and we are still ill. And if that was not enough, Indiana was put on a blizzard warning which kept us there even longer. We did not have the money to do any of this traveling, let alone extending it, so this has really set us back. We had planned to do our own family Christmas at home on New Years Eve but the delay killed that. We got home at 10:00pm last night. The gifts aren't even wrapped yet and today will be spent grocery shopping. Fun.

And if all of that were not enough, Erin started bleeding on the way back so now we don't know if the baby is safe or not. We have had three miscarriages. That's a 30% failure rate. It scares us. All we can do is wait.

Worst. Christmas. Ever.
But it is good to be home.

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