Friday, March 30, 2012

5/30/2012 Answering: How Our Open Marriage Began (Erin)

March 30, 2012 - Posted from home (Phoenix, Arizona)

Answering a follower question on how our open marriage began:

The concept of an open marriage just sort of happened. It wasn't something either of us had planned or expected and it was quite honestly born out of a situation that would have ended most relationships.

It was November 2, 2010. I decided it was time to tell Erin that I was more than bi-curious... she knew that I'd had sexual experiences with other boys when I was a kid, but she did not know that they continued through middle school and high school. She also did not know that I had met a guy online (Hank) from for oral sex after she and I were married.

I told her all of this, and that I identified as bisexual. I also told her that I'd had phone sex, messed around playing truth or dare with a co-worker (ErinS), that I had a crush on her sister (Lynn), who I had kissed and fingered, and also that had cum on her sister's feet and licked them clean.

I told her about the two neighbor boys I'd fooled around with (Keith and Donnie) as well as my best friend in high school (Brad) whose cum I swallowed while she and I were on a break when we dated back then. She knew all three of these boys. I expected her to be upset, but I was tired of being dishonest with her about who I was and what I had done.

This was all very difficult for me because I always saw her as so shy and so innocent and I felt so bad for cheating on her. Her response surprised me. She told me that as long as I was telling her my secrets, she should tell me hers.

She was in a sexual friendship with her next door neighbor when we first started dating again. His name is Rob. Back then, she was hoping the sex would lead to a relationship. She had a huge crush on him all through high school, even while she and I dated. She loved him. She told me she would have chosen him over me but since he was obviously unavailable, she said yes when I asked her to marry me. She did love me too, but we had a rocky past when we broke up after high school and I am honest when I say she should never have taken me back at all.

About 8 months after we married, she went over to Rob's house after a wedding we attended together. She looked beautiful. She wanted to see how he might respond to seeing her all dressed up. They talked and one thing led to another and her panties were stuffed in his jeans pocket as she sat on the bed of his truck in his garage while he tried to work his cock into her.

He was apparently either too nervous or felt too guilty about fucking a married woman and he could not quite keep hard enough to continue, which is ironic as although the guy I met for oral sex swallowed my cum, he also could not stay hard enough for me to finish my blow job because we were in a semi public area.

Anyway, because hers was with someone she had feelings for, someone I hated as he used her and I saw how he hurt her and also because he used to bully me when we were kids, she felt that her indiscretion was much worse than mine. I felt so bad that she had felt guilty for all these years and was hurting trying to keep it hidden. It was obviously as much a relief for her to tell me as it was for me to tell her my secrets.

We fought for a few weeks. Things were difficult. I became obsessed with knowing every single detail of her past with him. Not because I was angry or jealous but because it fascinated me (in a good way) even while it hurt to hear it. I felt like I was getting to know the real her for the first time in our marriage.

We had been married for 12 years at this point. She started joking that she stepped out on me and so I should get a freebie. I countered that I had cheated too and she said that didn't count because she was so emotionally attached to him and mine was with a guy to fulfill something that she knew she could not give me and she was ok with that. The thing with her sister... it wasn't actually sex. So the freebie joking continued and it was just our way of relieving the tension about the whole thing. We decided all couples have their issues and at least we are honest now so we chose to forgive and not let this come between us.

As things turned out, shortly after all this started, a girl who used to work for me started texting me out of the blue. Her name is Lindsay. Lindsay told me she'd had a huge crush on me back then and really wanted to fuck me but didn't want to say anything and get fired. As we have no more secrets, I told Erin about this.

She started encouraging me to keep texting and started giving me advice on what to text and pushed very hard for me to meet her for sex. I was resistant but eventually I started to go along. We set a date, booked a hotel room, and planned to go out to dinner. I almost backed out the day before because I felt guilty but Erin was adamant and told me if I backed out, she would be furious with me. I went to dinner with Lindsay. We stayed the night in a hotel and had sex three times. She also sucked my cock, though she didn't finish.

My wife and I had so much fun with it. It helped heal any lingering hurts and guilt we felt. We were laughing again. It was therapeutic. Since we moved, the relationship ended and that was the only time it had happened. She has been encouraging me ever since to find another girl (or guy) and has even toyed with the idea that she could have a guy on the side. I am not sure I am ready for that so we have compromised on the idea of me having a good friend to play with that she can also fuck. That I can do.

So that is our story. We are still in the infancy of it all, but hopefullywe find that special someone to start it all up again soon.

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