Monday, July 19, 2010

07/19/2010 Patience (Erin)

June 19, 2010 PATIENCE (Indianapolis, IN)

I have been getting some advice on pacing myself with Erin on the panty/submissive changes that have come up in the last week. One friend in particular sent me a message on FetLife with some good suggestions on separating this so I minimize her exposure to all of this and then if I cannot control myself, to keep a part of that separate for now.

I think a huge part of the "mad rush" here is the novelty. I know it will probably wear off at least to a point because it seems everything does at some point in time. Erin is aware of this too. I had this conversation with her.

I did some thinking on my drive last night and I realized I need to decide what is most important to me, kink wise. I want her to want me in panties because I like the submission, the humility, etc... but the problem I realized is that while I want to submit to her on the one hand, I'm not exactly doing that if I rush her on the panty thing. It's hypocritical. In a sense it is like I am dominating her into taking on a dominant role, if that makes any sense at all. I'm going to back off and serve her, pamper her and take care of her and try to earn my place at her feet so to speak more organically.

So I have decided I need some patience because it is prudent, yes, but also because if I am going to truly submit to her, then I have to accept her timing and the pace she wants to keep. Otherwise, what is the point? And of course, not doing so risks the whole house of cards collapsing and being left with neither.

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