Monday, June 11, 2012

06/11/2012 A little about me

June 11, 2012 - Posted from home (Phoenix, Arizona)

A little about me

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jason. I am 36 years old. I am heteroflexible. I have a higher than average sex drive and I very much enjoy new sexual experiences. I’m probably no more kinky than the average guy… I just don’t really hide it from my wife.

Formative Sexual Experiences

I began masturbating at the age of eight. I was taught by my cousin and his best friend. He taught me how to suck his dick a few days later. My next several sexual interests were boys. Five boys, actually, between age eight and fifteen when I experienced sex for the first time with my high school girlfriend (now my wife). She was thirteen. Both of us virgins, as far as penetrative sex went for me. I was her first everything.

My first girlfriend

Erin. The girl I had a crush on since elementary school. We were as in love as two teenagers could possibly be. We held hands. We kissed. We talked on the phone all day and all night. And we shared many first sexual experiences together. We found a Kama Sutra book that belonged to my parents and “The Joy of Sex” book that belonged to hers. We attempted many of the positions. She was the first girl who sucked my cock. And the first whose pussy I tasted. We had sex in her bedroom... my bedroom... in our back yards... even in her kitchen while her mother washed the dishes with her back to us just a few feet away. We had anal sex... Took romantic baths together... Handcuffs, sex with just her shoes on (I’ve a thing for shoes), foot jobs, we even used a camcorder… and in the end, it was just too much to handle at that age, emotionally. With my parents’ divorce to complicate matters, I began to fear losing her and things became unstable. I became unstable. We separated for two years after I graduated. She had two more sexual partners in that time: her next door neighbor (who was her childhood crush) and a high school boyfriend. I had three in that time. A one time thing with a girl. A second girl who moved in with me and was my fiancĂ©. And a boy named Brad (not in that order).

My best friend

Brad was my best friend in high school. He spent the night at my house. We were up late. Talking about girls. Then about what it might be like to be with a guy. Talking led to touching. Touching led to hand jobs, which led to blow jobs. In addition to my own, he is the only other guy whose cum I have tasted. He was the first (and still only) boy I kissed. He was also, at his behest, the first and so far only, guy I have penetrated anally… and just briefly at that. We were both very inexperienced, aside from the dozen or so times I’d had anal sex with my Erin. One stroke in. One back out. It was too painful for him. He was afraid to hurt me and so my turn never came. I am still a virgin in that sense, aside from my toys and Erin’s strap-on. He was the first boy I had sex with where I really knew what I was doing. Less the naive experimentation I’d experienced as a kid. This was more of a conscious effort to explore sexual interests on my own terms.

Love and Marriage

I was 21 and Erin was 19 when we married. We have always wanted to have a large family and so we do. We grew up on the same street and dated in high school. I’d had a crush on her since elementary school. We started dating just after her thirteenth birthday and just before my fifteenth. We get along well enough. I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me too, but as it is with every relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs. We have always managed to come out of the troubles much stronger and much closer. She is my world.

Lies and Secrets

It turned out we had each cheated on the other. She, eight months into our marriage, with her next door neighbor who she had deep feelings for just before we were married and me with a guy from the Internet whom I had met to exchange blow jobs at his office, as well as a couple of girls I had phone sex with... a former coworker and a girl I "dated" online in an MMO game. I also did some things with her sister... an innocent kiss... and some not so innocent things as well. We told all of our secrets to each other in November of 2010. I came out of the "bisexual closet" to her. Up to that point, she knew about the early childhood experiences, but not about the neighbor boys, my high school friend (whom she knew), or the internet friend. We went through some heartache but we have forgiven and in many ways it opened up our marriage to a new level of intimacy that quite frankly would not have been possible otherwise. I am inclined to believe that these kinds of things happen in most marriages... at least from one partner or the other, if not both. We simply chose to acknowledge that and not throw away all of the good things we have because of some poor decisions. After all, if you cannot forgive someone and love them despite their darkest secrets... can you really say you actually loved them at all?

Poly Beginnings

We have warmed to the possibility of an open or poly relationship. Ironically, this decision was born out of the fact that we’d both cheated. She is much more comfortable with me having another partner than I am with her right now. And that’s ok, because currently, she has no interest in that aside from perhaps a threesome with me and another bisexual guy... though mostly that is a fantasy that comes and goes. So for now, it works. She prefers another woman to be my choice but is also ok if i am with another guy. She goes back and forth with her level of comfort with the idea, though it has never waned completely, and she has never withdrawn her full support or the permission she has given me to pursue it. We have in fact had one experience, which was brought on by a LOT of encouragement on her part. She convinced me to finally go through with it. A former co-worker expressed that she’d had a crush on me. We went out on a date. Stayed the night in a hotel room and had sex three times. We still text, but my wife and I ended up moving across country so that ended any further development of a relationship.

That is me in a nutshell.

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