I am feeling quite disappointed in myself. Night before last, Erin treated me to an amazing handjob. It started out with me laying, naked, across our bed with my head resting in her lap. She was posting on Facebook and her message boards on her iPhone while she sort of absently played with my nipples with her free hand. After 20 minutes or so, she moved her attention to my cock. She got me so turned on… I was getting closer and closer to orgasm and she stopped and said she was going downstairs to set the DVR to record the Olympics. Which she could have done on the TV in our room… with the remote on her nightstand… or with the app on her phone… that was in her hand. No, the point was to deny me the pleasure I was about to have. She told me I could play with myself while she was gone.
She was gone for a while. I stroked my cock while looking through tumblr and watching some videos. I was obedient and didn’t cum. She came back and laid in bed next to me and picked up her book: Fifty Shades Darker and started reading. After a while, I realized we were done. I was impressed that she was making me wait and also disappointed… I was so turned on. I said goodnight and she said, “I thought you wanted a handjob?” I responded that I did, but she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to. She was toying with me.
She finished the handjob, rather quickly as she pointed out. And offered me her cummy hand. I hesitated. There was something different about licking her clean when I was sitting up next to her… She could watch me… I was going to… I was waiting for her to suggest it I guess… Because that would have taken some of the embarrassment away. I hesitated. She just wiped it on my chest and I was left to clean myself up.
I am so disappointed for not licking her hand clean. I want it. Yes, I lose that desire rot after but I feel so disappointed later on when I don’t. I want it, but I guess I’m scared. Of what, I don’t know. I know she is ok with it. I know she accepts it. Yet I hesitate and that makes it even harder. I’ll try to do better next time.