Friday, December 19, 2008

1987: My First Sexual Interest in a Girl (Jennifer L)

December 19, 2008 - Posted from home (Indiana)

Up to this point in my life, my sexual resume consisted of sexual experiences with a few different boys  throughout elementary school. By the time I was in sixth grade, the opportunities to explore with other boys slowed down to an unfortunate halt.

As a result, I began masturbating on a daily basis, usually more than once... But no boys... And still no girls. Sure, I'd had "girlfriends" in the "will you go with me? Circle yes or no" sense. As if that ever counted for anything. Nothing serious. Certainly nothing physical. There was a girl who lived down the street from me who I had this HUGE crush on all through elementary school. She was two years younger than me and the crush started at 8 years old. She was the first girl I was ever interested in emotionally and was also to be the girl I would give my virginity to and ultimately, the one I would marry (Yes, it was Erin - I've always loved her). But up to this point, sexual interest in girls I knew had not even entered my mind.

I have never thought of myself as gay. I also had no concept of the word bisexual. I was just me. I was way too shy to talk to the girl down the street. My brother and I had earned a bit of a reputation as trouble makers in the neighborhood, mostly for his part, and she was too good a girl to be with someone like that so I just became satisfied with daydreaming of her and watching her play out in the yard from my own yard.

I ended up joining a church youth group in sixth grade. Ironically, that was where my first sexual interest in a girl began. An "older woman" from my perspective, she was in high school. Her name was Jennifer. Cheerleader. I believe she went on to be Homecoming Queen. Way out of my league, of course. I guess the first ones usually are.
There are a lot of people out there with a lot of different fetishes. I often wonder if they know exactly how their fetishes started. I find women's feet to be a turn on... but I do not have a full blown fetish for them. It's fun to lick my wife's soles or suck on her toes or lie back and enjoy a good foot job... but it's not quite a fetish for me. What I am into are a woman's socked feet and shoes... especially tennis shoes. I know exactly how that began. It was Jennifer.

We were in the main hall of the building where we had gone for our church retreat near Santa Claus, Indiana. Everyone was pretty much doing their own thing. I was the shy, nerdy type and didn't know anyone so I just sat there and watched television and listened to other people's conversation... the typical stuff. I had never looked at Jennifer, or any girl for that matter, in any sexual manner with the exception of pictures and magazines.

Jennifer was sitting on the floor, just inside the carpeted area, directly in front of me as we all gathered to go over the agenda for our day and I looked down to see that she had kicked off her shoes. She was sitting with her legs bent and out to her side and for some reason, I just couldn't stop looking at her feet. Her socks were so bright, you'd have thought she picked them up off the set of a Tide commercial... her toes twitched here and there as we all listened to the youth pastor talking. I realized I was hard as a rock... I was horny. Not 60 seconds after the meeting was over, I had cum in the toilet 15 feet from where she sat.

Even now, a woman with plain white cotton socks and no shoes just turns me on... and since then, the fetish has grown to include shoes, though that one is entirely Erin's doing when we dated in high school. I can get completely aroused just walking through the shoe department in the mall. They don't even have to be on the woman's feet. I don't know what it is... the funny thing is, for so long I thought I was unique... but the internet has a fantastic way of opening people up... there are thousands of people into it. Sure, it's a smaller group than what many fetishes enjoy... but it's still nice not to be alone.

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